The lioness hates spiders
by OoOoOoO-Paris-Falls-OoOoOoO
Summary: this was just some weird idea that i had a couple days ago so anyways this is what happens when Raoul puts a spider on Alanna's pillow she wants revenge but will she get it? R&R!
1. Stalking Raoul

Alanna circled the palace corridors dagger in hand, she didn't intend to hurt Raoul just scare the living daylights out of him. She laughed ruefully to herself, "silly fool should never have left a spider on my pillow" she thought.

**Flashback**

Alanna woke up to the sight of a rather large and fairly hairy spider resting on her pillow, staring at her with its many eyes. Alanna screamed, loud and long. When she finally stopped to breathe and scream again, the sounds of Raoul's laughter could be heard emitting from the next room. Within the blink of an eye Alanna's knight training kicked in and she slapped the spider off of her pillow to meet its untimely end with a stone wall. Alanna rose from her position on her bed and stalked towards the door that led to Jonathan's room.

She ripped the door open to find all of her friends, with the exception of Raoul, seated around a table shocked expressions plastered on their faces. Raoul was on the floor laughing uncontrollably. Alanna's threats were lost in the sounds of Raoul's laughter, eventually she gave up and stormed back to her adjoining room, none of her other friends having moved from their current positions.

**End Flashback**

After hours of searching the palace Alanna finally spotted her target lurking in a dark corner of the palace courtyard, almost as if her were hiding from her. Alanna inwardly chuckled at the idea of her huge friend being afraid of her, but today she would give him a good reason to fear.

Silently Alanna crept upon the giant as she unsheathed her blunt dagger. Just inches away from Raoul's towering frame she stopped contemplating how she would launch her attack. Eventually though Alanna thought that it would just be best if she got a leg up from the pillar behind her and jumped on his back.

Stealthily Alanna found a foothold about a foot and a half up on the pillar and pounced on Raoul's back, quickly pressing the dagger to his neck. "Got-" was all Alanna had managed to get out before she felt herself being grabbed by the elbow and flung over Raoul's shoulder onto the cobbled ground.

The throw had come unexpectedly and caught Alanna off guard. She landed heavily on her backside and glared up at a now laughing Raoul. "How did you-" Alanna found herself being cut off again as Raoul laughed harder and pointed at a figure deep in the shadows of the palace eaves.

"George" Alanna breathed as she mentally smacked herself for being so stupid. Raoul hadn't been standing in the dark because he was hiding from Alanna's rath, he was trying to talk to George without having to leave the palace grounds. As head of the Rouge George wasn't supposed to be within the confines of the palace walls, but when you're friends with the future Tortallian king you find your way to be marked with less obstacles than your average thief.

"George sow you when you first entered the courtyard before I was even spotted." Raoul chuckled. Alanna opened her mouth to say something unintelligible about George, but was cut off yet again as George waved a hand at her silencing whatever retort she had in mind. Alanna fumed silently to herself, their interruptions had started to become a bad habit. "Aye we know. You hate the both of us with a fiery passion. I believe I've heard this song somewhere before." he smiled wickedly at her.

Grumbling incoherently, Alanna stood up and brushed herself off. She glared at her two friends, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but that hatred evolved into full blown loathing about a week ago when I awoke to my hairy friend." Alanna knew that George had helped Raoul get into her room, as Raoul couldn't pick a lock to save his life. The two males merely laughed and rolled their eyes at her. "Laugh all you want but next time you won't be so lucky."

Her threat seemed to fall on deaf ears and they both ignored her. Now it was Alanna's turn to roll her eyes as she quickly walked away already plotting her revenge. She was going to need more lock picks…

**Well what do you think? I know its like my first decent fanfic so anyways REVIEW or I will send evil monkeys to hunt you down or better yet kudarung!**


	2. Raoul and the slugs

"Stupid George. Stupid Raoul." Alanna mumbled. She was still a little sore from last week when she attempted to get payback for a spider oh so lovingly placed upon her pillow.

She was still scuffing her way through the courtyard when she heard Jonathan call her name.

"Alan," she stopped and turned around to see Jonathan running toward her with…a bucket?

"Hey, I thought that you might want some help getting your revenge on Raoul. I heard about how well the last the last attempt went," he panted still slightly out of breath from running across the entire courtyard. Alanna cringed at the memory of her last attempt she hadn't tried anything since George had foiled her last plot. She hadn't been able to come up with anything that wouldn't be halted immediately.

"What did you have in mind?" Alanna inquired slightly curious and insanely desperate. Jonathan didn't say anything he merely lifted the cover from the bucket in his hand, grinning so hard that Alanna feared he might break his face.

She peered inside the large bucket and hiding the slight revulsion she felt at the sight of its contents, she looked up at Jonathan and grinned her consent.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Hours later, when the palace maids had doused the lights, Alanna and Jonathan, lay awake on Jonathan's bed waiting for the screams that were sure to come. They didn't have to wait long.

After a few moments a shockingly effeminate scream was heard emitting from Raoul's chamber. Alanna and Jonathan gave each other confused glances. What poor did he _have _in there?

Mere seconds later their question was answered. Raoul didn't have anyone in his rooms. The giant stood in the doorway of Jonathan's quarters having kicked in the door only moments before. His night clothes and whatever parts of Raoul that had been left exposed were covered in bright green slugs that glowed in the dim light.

Knight and squire started at the strange sight before them, then at each other and back again at Raoul. Then after a few moments of deliberation they laughed long and hard, eventually falling off the bed and rolling around on the floor.

Their giggles bounced off the stone walls. Eventually knights and their squires filled the corridor, their interest having been peaked first by the screams and then the incessant laughter. Raoul had yet to move from his position in Jonathans doorway frozen in anger.

His position in the doorframe gave others in the hallway an excellent view of his slug covered backside. It was the funniest view anyone had ever gotten of the largest knight in the castle and eventually the added laughter grew to the point that it awoke higher-ups elsewhere in the castle, reaching Lord Provost and even the king himself.

"Well do you have any explanation as to how you came to be covered in these, these _things_?" Lord Provost demanded somehow managing to be intimidating even in his sleeping gown and nightcap.

"No my Lord Provost," Raoul mumbled casting a glance over at Alanna and Jonathan.

"You two are so dead," he mouthed, when no one else was looking. Alanna shrugged uncaring about the state of her life, and went back to bed plotting her revenge on George. Jonathan however remained in the hall staring at Raoul as if to say,

"You're going to murder the heir to the Tortallian throne? Sure."


	3. horsing around

**This is a few weeks after Alanna gets her revenge on Raoul, and after she goes to retrieve Jonathan's birthday present in In the Hand of the Goddess. Just thought I'd throw that bit of information out there, you'll need it to understand some of the last parts.**

Alanna crept silently through the Rouge's stables. The men in the tavern and the stable hands knew her, so she had no worries about being caught by them. Still if George saw her…

Alanna shook her head roughly, banning any thoughts of what George might do to her from her mind. She couldn't get distracted now. At least not if she wanted to go back to the palace with both of her ears intact.

She passed countless stables and horses trying to find the one that belonged to George's horse. He moved his horse on a daily basis so no enemies would be able to quickly find the Rouge's mount.

Alanna had now passed by and checked all of the stables and still she had not found George's horse. Which didn't make any sense - at all.

All of the stalls were full, so George's steed had to be in one of them, somewhere. Alanna knew that he wouldn't have sold or given away the horse, it was George's favorite. So then where had he hidden it?

A quick flick of black caught Alanna's eye. She smirked having now found his warhorse hidden behind another's horse.

Alanna had never thought that George was one to share stables but she wasn't about to complain now, the other horse would hide her as she worked.

Alanna quickly scanned the stable yard and seeing no one else, dashed across the yard and into the shared stable.

The brown mare that concealed George's own, neighed loudly and reared its head, trying to alert others to the intruder in its stable. Thinking quickly Alanna pulled a carrot out of her tunic and shoved it towards the mare who gobbled it up greedily.

Now that the stable mate had been taken care of Alanna worked quickly on George's horse. It was already saddled and ready to go as usual. George's horse would have to be, if he needed to flee the area quickly, George wouldn't want to be delayed any by having to saddle his horse, so this one was already kept ready.

Of course this was one of the few advantages that Alanna had over George.

She worked quickly, unchinching and loosing and shifting until all was set up like Alanna had planned. She laughed ruefully under her breath. This was gonna be good.

Alanna heard the door that lead to the tavern creak open. Oops. Alanna hadn't thought that she would run out of time, but she had and she could now see George sauntering over to the stable where she was now hidden.

Alanna looked around frantically desperate to not get caught. She lifted her face to the sky, about to beg the Goddesses for help.

Alanna had to hand it to the deity, she was good.

As soon as Alanna had looked up, she had taken notice of the open eaves in the stables.

_Thanks_. She told the Goddesses silently as she jumped up and grabbed hold of one of the beams above her. Alanna scrambled onto the top of the board and hung there awaiting George.

At least he didn't keep her waiting long.

George strode into the stable carrying himself with a more arrogant air than usual. He gestured grandly towards the mare to someone that was just outside of Alanna's sight, hidden by the baseboard of the stable roof.

"Oh she's lovely George." She heard someone with an oddly effeminate voice say.

Alanna was confused. Did George have a - dare she even think it - BEAU? For some reason Alanna's stomach clenched at the thought of George courting someone.

"Aye Mum, and all yours." George said with a smile.

Alanna silently let out a breath she hadn't realized that she was holding. Of course, George was walking so proudly because he had found a new mount for his mother, not because he had been trying to impress his beau.

She thought back to the kiss that George had stolen from her mere weeks ago. Her lips tingled a little at the thought, absently she touched them and almost slipped from her perch. Alanna clambered back into her spot with little noise, but it was enough to put George and Mistress Cooper on their guards.

"What was that?" they both asked the other.

Alanna saw George draw his dagger from his belt, and through spaces between the boards in the stable roof, she also saw Mistress Cooper do the same.

"I don't know. Stay there." George warned his jaw clenched.

He slowly made his way to the back of the stable knife held in the 'kill' position. George shooed both horses out of the stable on his way.

George carefully checked under the water trough and hay that sat in the stable. After finding nothing George backed out just as carefully as he had come. He knew someone was there in the stables but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out where.

Once outside George sheathed his knife and mounted his horse, telling his mother in a hushed voice to do the same. Mistress Cooper lifted herself upon the mare with an easy grace that one would not expect from someone with her number of years behind them.

George smacked his mother's horse and the creature bounded out of the stable yard with Mistress Cooper hanging onto its unsaddled back for dear life.

George then spurred his own horse on, about to follow his mother out of the open gate, but his reins detached and came loose in his hands, the metal bit falling to the ground with a thud.

He ignored this and gripped the horse's mane instead, if he hadn't looked so serious and - Alanna had to admit - devilishly handsome at that very moment, Alanna would have laughed at his plight.

Then, just as Alanna had planned, George's saddle slipped and he fell to the ground, landing in a rather large pile of well…

Now Alanna could not suppress the giggles that bubbled up in the back of her throat, and George - with the excellent hearing that befitted someone who headed the Court of the Rouge - looked up and glared at Alanna through the space in between two boards through which he could see the giggling squire.

"Alanna." George growled lowly.

The stables were still empty so George felt safe using Alanna's real name, and Alanna felt her heart jump just a little at the sound of her name on his lips.

"Yes?" she answered softly.

"Come down from there."

Alanna obeyed George without really knowing that she had until her feet hit solid ground below.

George was still sitting on the ground covered in horse's leavings. He did not look happy, but a few yards away, munching on some grass, his horse did. That wasn't of much comfort to Alanna.

George raised a clean hand and with one finger beckoned Alanna towards him.

She came, once again without realizing what she was doing until she had done it. Alanna swore a bloody oath under her breath, she didn't like the power that George had over her. It just wasn't fair, she was pretty sure that she didn't have that kind of control over _him_.

When Alanna was within an arm's length of George, she stopped, and he held out his hand wanting her to pull him up. She resisted doing what he wanted as long as she could, attempting to stare him down.

She failed and cursed herself once again as she pulled George up. Alanna decided that she would have to work on ignoring George.

George once on his feet attempted to brush himself off to no avail. He then took a new approach to getting his own revenge and stared straight into Alanna's eyes, his hazel ones boring into her own violet irises.

Alanna was frozen in place held by George's intense gaze, staring straight into the fire that lay just behind his eyes. He came closer until he was only a few inches away from Alanna. So close that they each could feel the other's breath upon their face.

"Alanna." George breathed, he was acting very unlike himself today, first letting Alanna slip through the cracks unnoticed, and now this… Alanna briefly wondered what he was planning to do, but she became too lost to hold onto the thought for long.

George brushed her cheek. "You oughtn't have done that." he leaned closer, about to kiss Alanna.

Or so she thought.

Without warning George dropped and swept his leg underneath Alanna, she fell to the ground landing in the same spot that George had. It was disgusting, but would have been worse had George not fallen before her and collected most of it.

For that Alanna was thankful, but George certainly wasn't.

He stared down at her with a different fire behind his eyes.

"Truce?" he asked simply.

Alanna crossed her arms and pouted slightly. "Truce." she said reluctantly.

George grinned and pulled her up, tugging on her arm longer than necessary so that she was pressed flush against him.

"Don't pick him. Pick me." he pleaded.

Alanna looked up at George, "I'll pick no one. Not until I've earned my shield."

George, dejected, looked away from her.

"George, I'm sorry. Maybe someday but not today. Please look at me."

He didn't and now it was Alanna's turn to stare at the ground.

"I'm sorry." she whispered and gently pressed her lips to his cheek. "I'll be back soon."

And with that Alanna turned around and left the Rouge standing in the courtyard. It was a long, hard trip back to the palace that day.

**Sorry to end this on such a sad note, but I couldn't figure out how to end it any other way. I don't know maybe I'm just a little depressed lately, oh well. Anywho sorry it took me so long to get this posted up, it is the last chapter, I don't know if there'll be a sequel, I wouldn't know what to write in it if there was one. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, God how corny was that? Umm yeah, review please, I'm begging you. Also if you want a sequel and have an idea of what you want in it either put it in a review or pm me or whatever. Once again sorry for the long wait I know I promised to have it up like a week ago, but yeah, I really don't have an excuse for that, just sorry it took me so long.**


	4. tell me

I wonder, am I not getting reviews for this chapter because the system on fanfic won't let anyone review a chapter a second time and because I deleted my suthor's note that was supposed to be chapter three and replaced it with the actual chapter? Could someone tell me, cause I'm dying here wondering if my last chapter just sucked that bad or if its just not possible to review


	5. Chapter 5

Okay so I've been MIA for the past few months and I apologize, I've been really busy with well life and stuff and I promise that slowly but surely I am working on the next chapters to my stories and I do know where they will go.

On another note, none of you know this because well, quite frankly, I've never mentioned it here, but I'm just a 'little' shutter happy, and I take quite a few pictures, since I was told I should enter a photo contest, well I did, the cutest pet photo contest, and I'm in the semi finals, and my photo is being published in their next book so please please please please please please please please go vote for my picture of my cat Snickers and leave a comment if you did, it'll make me write faster :)))))))

www(dot)cutestpetcontest(dot)com/view100373941(dot)htm


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